Suicide Zen Forgiveness

Sadness abounds at the latest in phobic lunacy.. We are #AllHuman.. can't that just be enough???? 
 
i want us to be more accepting of our fellow humans.. 

I am honoured to share my guest, Richard Brockman MD.  Richard thoughtfully, shares his wealth of knowledge, as well as his very personal story. Richard is a multi-faceted and multi-talented gentleman.
When Richard Brockman found his mother’s body, the simple narrative of his childhood ended. His new book-Life After Death tells the story of a boy who died and of a man who survived when the boy and the man are one and the same. It tells a very personal—yet tragically common—story of irredeemable loss. It tells the story of story itself. How story forms. How it grows. How it changes. How it can be broken. And finally, how sometimes it can be repaired.Now an expert in genetics, epigenetics, and the biology of attachment, Brockman chronicles his evolution from a child overwhelmed by trauma to a man who has struggled to reclaim his past. He lays bare the core of one who is both victim and healer. By weaving together childhood despair and clinical knowledge, Brockman shows how the shattered pieces of the self—though never the same and not without scars—can sometimes be put back together again.
 
Richard Brockman, MD is Clinical Professor, Columbia University, Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons, and Visiting Professor at the University of Namibia, School of Medicine.  
 
He has written over 40 papers published in peer review journals primarily focusing neural science and clinical psychiatry.   His book, A Map of the Mind, towards a science of psychotherapy was published by International Universities Press to critical acclaim.  Life After Death, surviving suicide was published in August ’23 by Arcade Press/Simon&Schuster, also to critical acclaim.   His teaching has been honored by the Victor J. Teichner Visiting Scholar Award, from the American Academy of Psychodynamic Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis as well as the Nancy C.A. Roeske, MD, Certificate of Recognition for Excellence in medical student education from the American Psychiatric Association.    
He has lectured widely in the United States and abroad. 
 
Brockman is also a playwright whose work has been produced in New York, Los Angeles, London as well as numerous other cities.  
 
His articles have been published in The Atlantic Monthly, The Los Angeles Times Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times.  
 
 A Map of the Mind, towards a science of psychotherapy was published by International Universities Press.
Life After Death, surviving suicide was published in August ’23 by Arcade Press/Simon & Schuster.
 

This is part one of a large segment of my journey, and the  understanding that comes from learning you need to lay to rest a part of you that was lost long ago... Like most things in my life after age 16, it begins, mostly with Andrea and the part 2 will come later in Season 6.
Beginning next Tuesday, Sep 19th when my guest will be  Dr. Richard Brockman. Be sure to tune in, to hear his story and all he has learned from this tragedy early in life.  
 
We have more amazing guests coming up for you. Each one offers their form of hope, as they share their stories. 
 
Remeber that if you or someone you know has a story to share you can email guest@szf42.com.
 
I hope this segment of my story offers you a take away, a bit of hope perhaps..
Thank you for listening 
Elaine 

In this episode we meet Dr Pat. We talk about mindset and options and how you are in the driver’s seat.
If we learn how to talk or be like we were when we were first in a relationship.  And it's just  you get so much farther, and then you're healthier, you're happier, you have better habits  and you can think and grow  rich from inside out    and when you do that, then you have more possibilities from outside in, ~Dr Pat Boulonge
Dr. Pat Boulogne DC, CCSP, AP, CFMP is a high-performance mastery mentor/coach, functionalmedicine doctor, lifestyle strategist, and an international bestselling author.
She is also the CEO and founder of Health Team Network-a company that’s dedicated to skyrocketing health, lifestyle, and mindset- with superior science based solutions and programs, and where results matter.
She is most passionate about sharing knowledge and solutions and making sense of challenges thatresult in even better outcomes that keep you on top of your game at work, home, or play-> everything you need to have better health and mindset mastery.
She speaks to simple high-performance solutions & how to achieve more health and happiness, and have the right mindset & achieve your greatest goals in less time. Her programs are personalized reflecting the unique bio-individual needs and goals of her clients. No stone is left unturned-> mind, body, and soul.
And my husband says, you could get anybody to give you anything. That's called being in your optimal alignment and being a grace magnet. I, absolutely love teaching people how to do that too. 
~Dr Pat Boulonge
Dr Pat is a team player who thrives on strategic solutions that are driven by faster, simpler, safer evidence based programs that keep you moving forward – realizing your goals in less time. 
 
Socials and Site
 
Linkedin.Com/In/Drpatboulogne
Facebook.Com/Askdrpat
Instagram.Com/Drpatboulogne
Website:  healthteamnetwork.com
#1 WHY... Are You Sick, Fat, and Tired? 
Best-Selling International Author, get your copy now 
getbook.at/SickFatAndTired

I met Brittany and we immediately formed a connection. I was thrilled to have her say yes to being my guest.  We talk about family, a spouse who struggles with suicide thoughts and how we navigate in a faith based family. 
Brittany Stinson is a business strategist who accelerates the growth and impact of missional entrepreneurs by organizing their projects and creating custom strategies. As a certified online business manager with a Master’s degree in Organizational Leadership, Brittany has worked with entrepreneurs with no budget all the way to 6-figure projects and best-selling book launches.
When Brittany isn’t working, she enjoys being in the sun by the water, eating amazing food, and spending time with her husband and four children.
Links and Socials:
https://brittanyastinson.com/
https://www.facebook.com/brittany.stinson123
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittanystinson/
https://www.instagram.com/brittany_stinson/
https://linktr.ee/brittany_stinson

My guest today, Sarah, helps me to make a bit more sense of the aftermath of my friend Andreas death. And shines some light on the grief process, As a suicide prevention and trauma recovery consultant she has a wealth of information and compassion to share. 
Sarah Gaer is a suicide loss survivor and holds a Masters Degree in Clinical Mental Health counseling and has twenty four years’ experience in the field of mental health care. She is a proud alumna of Holyoke Community College Class of ’98 and Antioch New England University Class of ’09. Her graduate degree work was focused on military veterans and trauma.
 Sarah has worked as an outpatient clinician, on a crisis team, in residential settings both for those with chronic mental health challenges and substance use disorders and with youth. She led a team of crisis counselors following the June 1st, 2011 tornado in Western and Central MA through a FEMA Crisis Counseling Program (CCP) and was the Senior Team Leader for the FEMA funded CCP responding to Covid-19 in Massachusetts.
Since 2012, Sarah has worked as a Suicide Prevention Specialist focused on men in their middle years and public safety. She has trained hundreds of first responders in trauma, toxic stress reduction and suicide prevention. Sarah is a QPR (Question, Persuade & Refer) Master Trainer for the QPR Institute.
Sarah has been providing trauma response services throughout Massachusetts since 2009 and has responded to suicides, homicides, natural disasters, terrorist attacks and child fatalities. She has also worked with many families after their loss by suicide.
Sarah is currently co-chair of the Pioneer Valley Coalition for Suicide Prevention and sits on the Executive Committee for the Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention. She is  a consultant in suicide prevention and trauma recovery nationally and is spearheading long term recovery efforts at a medical facility in Massachusetts that has been deeply impacted by the pandemic. She is also a consultant and trainer for the Massachusetts Department of Mental Health CIT-TTAC Jail Diversion program specializing in Law Enforcement mental health and suicide prevention.
Sarah has presented her work at International, National, and State Suicide Prevention Conferences and her writings have been published by SAMHSA and the Good Men Project. She authored the novel “The Price,” which chronicles the suicide death of a police officer as well as co-authoring “Guts, Grit & The Grind,” a series of men’s mental health manuals. Sarah also co-wrote a children’s book “Good Night Grace,” that walks alongside a family trying to help a child understand their parent’s substance use disorder.
Sarah was a proud recipient of the Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention 2022 Leadership award.
On a personal note, Sarah is a mother of two, including her son who serves in the US Navy and her daughter who will be attending UCONN. She lives in Connecticut with her husband, daughter and three Bernese Mountain Dogs, Mulligan, Keegan and Malone. In her free time, she enjoys writing, camping (in an RV, absolutely no tents involved) and hiking with her dogs.
 
SOCIAL PROFILE
Website
http://sarahgaer.com
LinkedIn URL
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahgaer
Facebook URL
https://www.facebook.com/SarahGaer
Twitter URL
https://twitter.com/sarahgaer

Honoured to speak with a deeply committed, empathetic gentleman who lives here in Ottawa.  Our talk covers so much centered around Don's attention to serving those in need. 
Here, I offer his bio in his own words...
"A little bit about me and my life. I was born in 1953 and raised in Ottawa, Canada’s Capital. I’m married to Lauren, the love of my life. We have 5 kids, 9 grandkids, 2 active dogs, we work from home, we love to travel and are proud to say we are foodies.
I have over 3 decades of recovery from Alcohol and Drug addiction under my belt.  
While A.A. educated me in the areas of self love, codependency, healthy boundaries and such, there were areas in my life that just never quite felt complete to me and I could never really put my finger on it until I was introduced to The Grief Recovery Method by an amazing friend who was interested in it for his role as a Chaplain with his Outreach Ministry here in Ottawa. Capital City Mission. (shameless plug)
The lights went on for me when I began to understand that the same emotions we experience while grieving a loved one who has died, are the same emotions that surface when we experience any form of loss. 
Now on to the nitty gritty and very raw aspects of why I believe I can help you with your search for completion. Let me qualify as someone who understands loss but more importantly that recovery is not just possible, but likely if you plug in and trust the process. 
At the age of 7 I attempted to kill my Dad. I attacked him with a butcher knife while he and my mother were in a violent fight and in drunken stupor. 
Needless to say, I was disarmed and pushed aside with ease and experienced a deep sense of loss of self worth as I was unable to help my mother. 
To this day I’m not sure who called my grandfather, but I do remember sitting on the front steps of our walk up apartment and him pulling up and walking past us into the house. He came out shortly after and tied the bunk bed that my brother and I slept in to the roof of his old green Ford. 
He sat us in the back seat before securing it and all to the roof of the car and remember I was looking back at the open door to our apartment while my sister sat on one side of me and my brother on the other. 
That was to be the last time I ever lived with my parents. 
Now I was grateful on the one hand for the safety that this new home provided, but resented my grandfather because I held him responsible for my parents not having to do the right things to get us back.  
I truly felt abandoned by them both. 
At the age of 11 I was molested by a female neighbor and within a few months of that incident happened to find a liquor “closet” in a friend's basement and quickly discovered the comfort of numbing and not feeling any of the pain that lived inside my broken little heart. 
I was instantly hooked. At 12 or 13 I found the newness of drugs and just how effective they were at numbing all the pain and the three of us became inseparable. 
I lived that way until I was 35.  
Because of the addictions, the friends and the lifestyle that I’d subjected myself to, loss came at me in just about every form and often at warp speed. I was subjected to suicides, over doses, gang violence resulting in death, incarceration of countless friends, divorces, depression, not to mention the non tangibles like loss of self worth, value, dignity. A whirlwind of chaos and the weight of it all just accumulating with no real way for me to deal with it. I often felt hopeless and helpless.
Now for the good news: 
Every page I turned, of the Grief Recovery Handbook, was like the key to a lock that I had been powerless over. 
Understanding began to awaken, and hope began to poke its head out even after all the years of sobriety. 
I love the power of Ah! Hah! moments. 
I was reading the story of my life on the pages of this book. The story of how ill equipped we all are when it comes to dealing with Grief and Loss. Was it any wonder that I was excited about becoming a Certified Grief and Loss Specialist?
While in the classroom taking the certification training, I experienced completion like I had never experienced before. Looking at the loss of my life in graph form was a difficult thing to experience but that discomfort was dwarfed by the weight of feeling incomplete that I had been living with all these years.  
Once I understood the power of the process and experienced the freedom and weightlessness it delivered, how could I not want to help as many people as possible?
So if any of this resonates with you and you are brave enough to enter into conversation, know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I’ll be nothing but a Heart with Ears. If I can’t help you to the other side of your loss, I’m sure I know someone who can. 
Take the chance, because I guarantee you, you are worth it." ~Don Lachance
Socials and Site Links
The Grief Recovery Method
Instagram
LinkedIn 

“After such a tragic death, it is possible to get to a place of peace and joy again, but to do so, we have to ride the emotional waves that include feelings of anger or resentment, whether toward our loved one who has died or others involved. Early on, I was told that this grief process is like riding a surfboard on choppy waters. Sometimes they calm down, and other times we are gasping for air. No matter what, we need to ride those waves and embrace the whole journey. Only then can we get to a place of peace.”  ~Alexandra Wyman
 
Alexandra Wyman is an advocate and public speaker for resources in the aftermath of suicide. After she lost her husband to suicide in August of 2020, Alexandra found a need to change the language around suicide, and decided to write about it.
 
Her memoir, The Suicide Club: What To Do When Someone You Love Chooses Death is an Amazon best seller. She has spoken at a variety of conferences including Bridging the Divide Suicide Prevention and Awareness Summit 2022, 2023 Northwest Conference on Childhood Grief, and has been accepted to present at the 2023 Military Social Work & Behavioral Health Conference and the International Association of Suicide Prevention Conference 2023 in Piran, Slovenia.
Alexandra has also been a guest on a variety of podcasts including The Unlock Moment, Author Hour, Resilience Unravelled, She Persisted, and My Wake Up Call with Dr. Mark Goulston. Alexandra has her own podcast called The Widow’s Club, as well.
She practices pediatric occupational therapy and lives in Colorado with her son.
Connect with Alexanda Wyman:
Official Site: www.forwardtojoy.com
Instagram: @forwardtojoy
Facebook: @alexandrawyman
LinkedIn: Alexandra Wyman

I met Sarah through a women's group. Her energy and attitude are such that you want to get to know her immediately!
After attending some of her soul sessions and watching her videos i knew i needed to have her on the show. 
Raw real and honest, we discussed a wide variety of self-care, soul, and the working of our human selves, often stuck in our Ego. ( not necessarily what you think) 
Join me as we delve into choice, living your best life, and all the issues surrounding motherhood, post partum depression, ideation and so much more. 
Practical. Strategic. Inspiring. Intuitive. Nurturing. Self-aware.
Sarah Sparks, MPA is a highly sought-after spiritual business advisor. She is the Director of Spiritual Life, Community, and Belonging and Founder of Create the Spark, LLC. Sarah’s an international best-selling author, podcast host of a top 10% nationally ranked podcast, and successful business owner, who is on this earth to teach professionals how to lead with their soul, by listening to their divine guidance. Sarah believes you are extraordinary and meant for more; she can help you know why you are here and live the life you are meant to live.
As an ordained minister, holding a Bachelor’s in Management: Human Resources from the University of Northern Iowa with a Training: Design and Development Certificate, and a Master of Public Administration degree from Drake University, Sarah is the perfect blend of professional and spiritual.  She worked in local government for 6 years before becoming a business owner. Now, her business successfully supports a family of four and serves clients in India, Canada, Mexico, and the United States. 
To learn more visit https://www.sarahsparks.love/
Follow me on social media:
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/thesarahsparks
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thesarahsparks/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thesarahsparks
Books: Hateful to Grateful - http://bit.ly/HatefultoGrateful
Sacred Medicine - https://amzn.to/3PinWMS

After hearing Kevin speak, at the Dare to be Vulnerable event here in Ottawa, I got a really honest vibe from what he said and knew I wanted him to guest on SZF. Kevin graciously agreed to speak about losing family members to suicide..
 
As Chief Executive Officer of Calian, Kevin Ford focuses on enabling the management team to execute the company’s four-pillar growth framework of customer retention, diversification, innovation and continuous improvement. This unrelenting focus has taken the company to the next level, with revenues exceeding the half-billion-dollar mark in 2021. It’s one milestone on the journey to becoming a billion-dollar, proudly Canadian company.
Named CEO of the Year by the Ottawa Chamber of Commerce and Ottawa Business Journal in 2017 and EY Entrepreneur of the Year in 2019, Kevin attributes his success to teamwork, integrity and commitment. These values, combined with Kevin’s enthusiasm for Calian technology and talent and his passion for diversity and inclusion, help him to future-proof the business.
Kevin is fully invested in the growth of the company, playing a key role in the 18 successful acquisitions Calian has made since 2012.
 
“Through a combination of strategic acquisitions, innovative solutions and diversification, we continue to increase our customer base in Canada and expand into new international markets.”
 
Kevin was promoted to Chief Executive Officer in April 2015. Prior to becoming the CEO of Calian, Kevin served as the Calian Business and Technology Services Division President for more than four years. Kevin worked in professional services for more than 30 years, including 11 years at IBM as a Partner in Global Business Services.
 
He also contributes to numerous charitable organizations, sits on the board of the Ottawa Hospital Foundation and a member of CADSI’s Board of Directors since 2016 and served as Chair of the Board from October 2019 to April 2023. Kevin has coached hockey and most recently led the charge to save a legacy live music venue in Ottawa.
 
Socials And Site
 
Calian https://www.calian.com/ 
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/kevin-ford-5426948
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KFordCalian